OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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