He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
