Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
