I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
