I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
