We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
