But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Randomize
