dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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