Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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