I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
