There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
