Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
