Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
