Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
