No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
