Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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