He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
