If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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