If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
