all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
