You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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