Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
