i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
