you would pick up someone in the library
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
