Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
