What a fucking waste of an outfit
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
