D3 body, D1 cock
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
