after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
