you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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