i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
