Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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