why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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