I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
