Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
