All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
