you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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