ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Dick very happy bro
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
