I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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