He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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