Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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