I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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