there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
