My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I just found puke in my bra..
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
