So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
