i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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