Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
