I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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