I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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