I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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