I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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